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The Comforts of Home (A Play in One Act) by Norman Szabo
THE COMFORTS OF HOME(A stage adaptation of the short story by Flannery O'Connor)
CHARACTERS
THOMAS -- 24 STAR DRAKE -- 19 SHERIFF FAREBROTHER -- 40-ish MA TUCKER -- 50-ish THOMAS has lived at home with his widowed MOTHER since he graduated from university a year ago. This domestic arrangement suits them both. ~ SCENE: A table center stage with 3 chairs. Upstage, a kitchen dresser with a telephone. On one side, a desk with a typewriter, books, papers etc, and another chair. On the other side, a second phone in a small screened-off area that's only lit up when the phone is being used. ~ [MOTHER sits at the table chewing toast and reading the paper. THOMAS enters with a book.] MOTHER: Good morning, Thomas. Did you sleep well? THOMAS: Yes, thank you, mother. [He inspects the table.] Is that all the marmalade we have left? MOTHER: Oh I believe there's more. [She fetches a jar and spoons it out.] There. Your favorite: 'Olde English' thick cut Oxford marmalade. [They settle at the table, reading and eating. MOTHER tsk tsks and shows THOMAS the paper.] MOTHER: Imagine, only nineteen years old and in that filthy jail. And she doesn't look like a bad girl. THOMAS: [glancing at the paper] Criminals are getting younger. MOTHER: She looks like a wholesome girl. THOMAS: Wholesome people don't pass bad checks. MOTHER: You don't know what you'd do in a pinch. THOMAS: I wouldn't pass a bad check. MOTHER: [rising] I think I'll go visit her and bring her a box of candy. THOMAS: Now, mother.... MOTHER: Thomas, supposing it were you? I feel I have to do a little good when I can. [exit] [THOMAS takes his coffee to his desk. He types a few sentences. The phone rings. He gets up and answers it.] THOMAS: [on phone] Hello? [Bring lights up on phone #2] MOTHER: [on phone #2] You can't imagine what all she's been through. Her name's Star Drake and she was brought up by a stepmother who had three children of her own. The oldest one, a boy, took advantage of her in such dreadful ways and she was forced to run away to find her real mother. But then her own mother sent her to boarding schools which were full of sadists and perverts and such bad men that she was forced to run away again. The things they did to her defy description. Thomas? Are you there? THOMAS: Yes. MOTHER: I've been talking to a lawyer. THOMAS: Mother! MOTHER: He told me that part of what she said was untrue. But she's not crazy, not really crazy, just a psychopathic personality and a congenital liar. We had it out with her and she said that yes, that's what she was. She lies because she's insecure. Thomas? THOMAS: Yes. MOTHER: I felt so sorry for her I just had to help her. THOMAS: You're not going to bring her back here!? MOTHER: No, no. The lawyer helped me get her bailed and we fixed her up with a job in the pet shop and a room in Ma Tucker's boarding house. THOMAS: [MOTHER quietly hangs up as he talks] Nobody could ever tell you anything. In a few days, once she's got all she can out of you, she'll leave town and you'll never hear from her again. [He realizes there's no one on the line. Exasperated, he hangs up.] [STAR laughs from offstage and then enters with MOTHER. STAR carries a big red purse which she tosses onto the table] MOTHER: Thomas, this is Star you've heard so much about. Star is going to have lunch with us. THOMAS: How do you do. MOTHER: Thomas writes history, He's president of the local Historical Society this year. STAR: Fabulous! MOTHER: Right now Thomas is writing about the first settlers in this country. STAR: Fabulous! Say, you know who he looks like? MOTHER: Oh, someone very distinguished! STAR: This cop I saw in a movie I went to last week. MOTHER: Star, I think you ought to be careful about the kind of movies you go to. I think you ought to see only the best ones. I don't think crime stories would be good for you. STAR: Oh, this was a crime-does-not-pay, and I swear this cop looked exactly like him. They were always putting something over on the guy. He would look like he couldn't stand it a minute longer or he would blow up. He was a riot. And not bad looking. [She leers at THOMAS] MOTHER: Star, I think it would be grand if you developed a taste for music. [STAR ignores her and winks at THOMAS.] THOMAS: If you'll excuse me, I have work to do. [He retreats to his desk] MOTHER: Thomas, I have to see about the lunch. I want you to entertain Star. Make her feel at home. [She stops just before exiting.] Be good! [exit] [STAR sidles over to THOMAS's desk. THOMAS bolts back to the table.] STAR: Jesus! Who set your tail on fire? [She edges back to the table and drapes her hand limply over his shoulder.] STAR: Tomsee doesn't like me, but I think he's fabulously cute. [THOMAS resolutely stands and goes back to his desk. STAR sits at the table.] STAR: Nobody likes me. What if you were me and I couldn't stand to spend three minutes with you? THOMAS: My mother likes you. STAR: Her! She's just about seventy-five years behind the times. THOMAS: If I find you bothering her again, I'll have you put back in jail. STAR: You and who else? [MOTHER returns. THOMAS grabs her and brings her downstage, shutting STAR out of their conversation.] THOMAS: All right, now listen. I have something to say to you about that girl and I don't intend to say it but once. She's nothing but a slut. She makes fun of you behind your back. She means to get everything she can out of you and you are nothing to her. [MOTHER breaks away from him and goes back to STAR. THOMAS stays where he is.] MOTHER: We'll have to use canned cream today. I forgot the other. THOMAS: Did you hear me? MOTHER: I'm not deaf. [She comes back upstage to THOMAS] I know I'm nothing but an old bag of wind to her. THOMAS: Then why do you persist in this foolishness? MOTHER: Thomas, it might be.... THOMAS: It's not me! MOTHER: Think of all you have. All the comforts of home. And morals, Thomas. No bad inclinations, nothing bad you were born with. [Behind them, STAR picks up her purse and heads quietly for the door.] THOMAS: You're not logical. He would have put his foot down. MOTHER: You -- are not like your father. [Behind them, STAR exits] However, I won't invite her back here again since you're so dead set against her. THOMAS: I am not set against her. I am set against you making a fool of yourself. [He turns] Where is she? MOTHER: You've upset her and she's gone. THOMAS: Good riddance. [The phone rings. THOMAS answers. Lights come up on the second phone to reveal MA TUCKER] TUCKER: Come get this girl! Come get her! Drunk! Drunk in my parlor and I won't have it! Says she's lost her job and come back here drunk! I won't have it! THOMAS: Call the sheriff! Call the sherif to come there and pick her up! [His MOTHER snatches the phone.] MOTHER: We'll be right there. We'll come and get her right away. Tell her to get her things together. TUCKER: She ain't in no condition to get nothing together. You shouldn't have put something like her off on me. My house is respectable! THOMAS: Tell her to call the sheriff! MOTHER: [hangs up the phone] I wouldn't turn a dog over to that sheriff. [THOMAS slumps into a chair. His MOTHER prepares to leave.] MOTHER: Think of the poor girl, Thomas. With nothing. Nothing. And we have everything. THOMAS: I'm telling you, once and for all, the place to take her is the jail. [beat] All right, take her to the hotel. MOTHER: I cannot take a drunk girl to a hotel, Thomas. You know that. THOMAS: Then take her to a hospital. MOTHER: She doesn't need a jail or a hotel or a hospital. She needs a home. THOMAS: But not my home. MOTHER: Only for tonight, Thomas. Only for tonight. [exit] [THOMAS goes to his desk and types. From offstage, STAR sings a verse or two of a lovesick blues song (Ella Fitzgerald?? Billie Holiday??) then enters with MOTHER. They sit at the table.] STAR: Tomsee doesn't like me. He doesn't want me here. Nobody wants me anywhere. MOTHER: Thomas's name is Thomas, not Tomsee. STAR: I made Tomsee up. I think it's cute. He hates me. MOTHER: Thomas does not hate you. We are not the kind of people who hate. STAR: Oh I know when I'm not wanted. They didn't even want me in jail, and if I killed myself, I don't think God would want me. THOMAS: Why don't you try it and see? STAR: It's the best thing to do. I should kill myself. Then I'll be out of everybody's way. I'll go to hell and be out of God's way. And even the devil won't want me. He'll kick me out of hell, not even in hell... [MOTHER goes to THOMAS at his desk] MOTHER: [discretely] Where's that gun of your father's? I want to lock it up? THOMAS: [loudly] The gun is in my drawer and I will not lock it up. If she wants to shoot herself, so much the better. MOTHER: Thomas, she'll hear you! THOMAS: Let her hear me. Don't you know she has no intention of killing herself? STAR: Tomsee'll find out. I'll kill myself and then he'll be sorry he wasn't nice to me. I'll use his own lil gun, his own lil ol' pearl-handled revol-lervuh. THOMAS: Don't you know her kind never kill themselves? [STAR seizes a knife. With a scream, she jabs it into her wrist, then collapses sobbing on the table. MOTHER rushes over, inspects the cut and wraps a napkin around the wound. She gets STAR moving towards the door.] MOTHER: Oh my Lord! She's tried to do away with herself. We have to take her to the hospital! Imagine being so low you'd do a thing like that. THOMAS: Take her to the hospital and leave her there! MOTHER: And drive her to despair again? [She exits with STAR.] [THOMAS turns back to his typewriter, pecks out a few more words, then puts his head down and falls asleep. STAR enters silently, puts her rad bag on the table and takes off her coat: her wrist is neatly bandaged and beneath her coat she wears only a nightdress. She sees THOMAS, creeps over to him, reaches out, touches him, runs her fingers through his hair. She slides down to the floor and clings to his leg like a whipped dog.] [THOMAS stirs, wakes -- and is appalled. He shakes her off, leaps to his feet and snatches up the chair. Using the chair he backs her up toward the door as though she were a wild beast.] THOMAS: Mother! Mother! [STAR turns and flees. Enter MOTHER.] THOMAS: She crept up on me while I was asleep. [He puts down the chair.] Stay here. [He exits cautiously. His MOTHER goes to his desk and takes out the gun. She's dithering about what to do with it when THOMAS returns. She hastily hides it anyhow under some papers on his desk.] THOMAS: She's locked herself in the bathroom. But when I woke up, she was clinging to my leg. I won't put up with this. I won't put up with it another minute. MOTHER: That's just another way she's unfortunate. So awful, so awful. She told me the name of it but I forget what it is but it's something she can't help. Something she was born with. Thomas? Supposing it were you? THOMAS: Can't I make you see that if she can't help herself, you can't help her. MOTHER: Nimpermaniac. THOMAS: Nymphomaniac. She doesn't need to supply you with any fancy names. Morally she's like an animal, that's all you need to know. Born without the moral faculty -- like someone else would be born without a leg or without a kidney. Do you understand? MOTHER: I keep thinking it might be you. If it were you, how do you think I'd feel if nobody took you in? What if you were a nimpermaniac and not a brilliant smart person and you did what you couldn't help and... What did she have on? THOMAS: Practically nothing. Just a nightdress. Now will you get her out of here! MOTHER: How can I turn her out in the cold? Thomas, it was just this afternoon she tried to kill herself. THOMAS: I don't care. Send her back to jail. I won't stand for this a minute longer. If she doesn't leave -- then I will. MOTHER: I wouldn't send you back to jail, Thomas. [exit] THOMAS: [calls after her] You can choose right now -- it's her or me. [He paces -- and sees the drawer of his desk is half-open. He checks: the gun is gone. Breathing hard, he goes to the phone and dials. The second phone rings several times before SHERIFF FAREBROTHER ambles on and picks up.] SHERIFF: Sheriff's office. THOMAS: Is this the sheriff? I need to talk to you. SHERIFF: Well, go ahead. THOMAS: It's about that girl, Star Drake. SHERIFF: Uh-huh. THOMAS: She... SHERIFF: We had her oncet. THOMAS: I had nothing to do with letting her out. That was my mother. SHERIFF: Uh-huh. THOMAS: She was trying to help the girl. She didn't know she couldn't be helped. SHERIFF: Bit off more than she could chew I reckon. THOMAS: This isn't about my mother. She has nothing to do with this. SHERIFF: Why are you calling? THOMAS: The girl, she -- she's taken my gun. SHERIFF: She took your gun? THOMAS: Yes. She's crazy, she's upset, and she has a gun. SHERIFF: Your daddy would never have let this happen. He never let anything grow under his feet. Particularly nothing a woman planted. THOMAS: Look, she might kill somebody with that gun. SHERIFF: Uh-huh. Where's she got it? THOMAS: I don't know. I just know she has it. Get over here and search her and you'll find it. SHERIFF: You seem to know how it should be done. Want to swap jobs? [beat] All right, I'll come on over. [He hangs up.] [THOMAS goes back to his desk, sits. Distractedly he pecks at the keys of the typewriter. He notices the gun, fishes it out. What to do!!?? He sees STAR's red purse on the table. He goes to it, opens it, and holds the gun over it. STAR enters. THOMAS drops the gun into the purse.] STAR: What is Tomsee putting in my purse? [She comes over] Is Tomsee being naughty? [Enter MOTHER. The open purse sits like an oracle on the table. STAR peers into it.] STAR: Tomsee put his pistol in my bag! MOTHER: Ridiculous. What would Thomas want to put his pistol in your bag for? STAR: I don't know what for, but he sure did it. Oh boy, is he a case. MOTHER: Thomas wouldn't put a gun in your bag. Thomas is a gentleman. STAR: [points to the open bag] You can see it in there. THOMAS: I... I found it in her bag! The dirty criminal slut stole my gun! STAR: Found it my eye. [STAR goes for her purse, but THOMAS grabs it and snatches out the gun. STAR screeches and lunges for his neck. MOTHER throws herself between them -- and the gun goes off.] [The SHERIFF enters as MOTHER falls to the floor.] STAR: [wails] Tomsee!! CURTAIN |